Friday, October 29, 2010

Contentment Breeds Stagnation

      I have never been content. True I have had many a fleeting glimpse of joy, but, it has always been fleeting. I was born into filth. I was born into a family of hoarders. As a child my family considered running water a luxury and electricity too expensive. This is not a falsehood and I do not lie. My family lived like animals and as their child so too did I.
       I have never been content. I was a troubled child with no true friend. Life has been and still is, hard for me. Even now I must ration my food for the next few days until I get paid. I contemplate suicide on the bad days of my life. I would never go through with it of course, can't let myself get away with it, too easy. I regret and savor every second of suffering.
       I will never be content. My plans are grand, my chance is slim. As long as I'm alive I can continue to fight. A thousand men may stand before me, the simple way to win is not to die. I may be beaten and bloody but no man is taller than the last man standing!
       I will never be content. With the hunger in my belly and a will to succeed, I can not fail. The displeasure in self is the key to progression. The displeasure in your surroundings is the key to riches. My life has never been easy. I hope it stays that way.
       I have never been content. I will never be content. With my pain I will progress.
Contentment breeds stagnation.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I am InMassAlone...

You might ask, "Who is this guy?"
I would answer, "Only I know."

    For me to tell you who I am, you must under stand what I am. I am the atheist that dreams of immortality, the man that stands alone wishing for comfort, the tortured soul that has no yearning for reprieve, I am the one that dreads all obstacles yet faces them without hesitation. I calculate all the variables I can, plan for the worst and head in anyway. I do this to spite the odds, I do this to spite my enemies, to spite my family, and to spite myself! I dream for immortality, because one day I will die. I am the man that stands alone, because my family never wanted me. I am tortured and wish for comfort, but not for reprieve, because my life and my future road is replete with thorns, serpents and all manner of pernicious impediments. I stand isolated, even amongst the multitude, because I do no desire to bring anyone into my baleful existence. I do not yearn for reprieve tho I am tortured, the rationality behind this is contentment breeds stagnation. I will move forward because of the anguish of life. I have the will endure and to survive, and with this pain, I will succeed. Without both I would stagnate in contentment, that is why I do not yearn for any reprieve. There are obstacles and I do dread them, but with every time that I demolish one, I become stronger in the end. I calculate all the variables I can, for to do any less would be foolish. I am all these things because for longest time i despised myself. That is no longer the case. However the cosmos has a way of reminding you of what you once where, I despise what I once was. It doesn't matter if the odd are against me, for it seems that I am against myself.

    That is what I am, and that is why I walk my path.